Art making is not a cathartic function for me. Instead of providing me with an ongoing positive experience, it serves me by preventing further descension to negative experiences, if and only if, I am actively art-making. When I stop painting then I fall back into depression, worry, and anxiousness. Chemical antidepressants do virtually nothing for me and drinking has been profoundly damaging. Painting at least keeps me from destabilization, but only as it is happening. Objectively, I have been becoming aware of aspects of my internal sate-of-affairs. I hope that this awareness can somehow, someday, pave further into the possible reconciliation of my psychological and emotional disturbances by being an active artist.